Crucify Him!
- Jenny Crum
- Apr 16
- 5 min read
Read John 19
My sister had a midterm, and I jumped at the chance to stand in her part of our Church’s Christmas play. She held a coveted spot as an angel, and we had to keep it in the family. I stood as still as I could resting a long fake trumpet on my fingers, trying not to pay attention to the burn forming in my biceps. The fog machine enveloped me and a handful of other teen girls as we set the ambiance for the birth of Christ. I’ll never forget the smell of the fog, or the view from the top of the stage out into the audience. I thought I was big stuff when I was moved up to an angel with wings on my arms. I did my best impression of an animatronic, slowly, slowly, bending my arms in and out. Eventually my sister came back but I was hooked. I’d fill in for other girls until I received a spot of my own. Over the years I had plenty of time to think about angels, worship, the wonders that they have seen. I loved it, it wasn’t Christmas without the Christmas show. Exhaustion, studying for midterms at the church, late practices, hanging with friends between shows. However, it wasn’t until I was in the adult choir that I would feel the weight of playing a part in the Christmas Festival.
Why am I writing about a Christmas show instead of an Easter Cantata? Because our show didn’t end at the Christmas story. It continued to present Jesus’ ministry, his death and resurrection. His trial and crucifixion scene changed my perspective completely, and 20 years later, I’m still talking about it!
I stood backstage with my friends, fidgeting and adjusting my ‘biblical’, a costume of inordinate amounts of fabric. Lights went dark, and the ominous symphonic music boomed in my chest. Jesus was being jostled and shoved by the Roman soldiers into the presence of Pilate. Yelling came from the stage and that was our que to join the mob. This particular show, I shuffled in from stage left with my back to the audience, and ran smack into my own sinful nature. All at once, the “I would nevers” melted away and I knew that I was the one that put Jesus on the cross.
The set became Jerusalem, my choir friends, the angry crowd. “CRUCIFY HIM!” I heard my voice screaming, “CRUCIFY HIM!” My voice, my loud angry voice. The “good girl” from the south who was taught to never say anything mean. I think the Spirit allowed me to hear myself so that I would reorient myself toward Christ.
There are stories of actors becoming so involved in the part they play that it effects their psyche. In an article from scienceservey.com, Ashley Chen explains, “Method acting is the process in which an actor adapts to their character’s physical or emotional state…” I am by no means an actress, but I can understand from my brief experience on stage that the exercise of mentally placing yourself into someone else can give you great understanding.
When you read the crucifixion narrative in the Gospels, who do you identify with? Where do you place yourself? Are you a neutral observer? Are you Mary, or John? What about the thief next to Jesus, Caiaphas or a soldier? The American church (I can’t speak for the other parts of the world) sometimes has interpretation issues with Scripture, placing ourselves as the “hero”, instead of observing God in his Word. We make some parts “prescriptive” when it is “descriptive”. That December night I was part of the angry mob, calling for the death of Jesus! But was I really? No! I was still me, a Christian, hearing my sinful self, vocalize what my sinful actions has told Christ so many times in the past. Lose my temper, “Crucify Him!”, gossip about a friend, “Crucify Him!”, hate someone I don’t even know, “Crucify Him!”, want revenge, “Crucify Him!” indulge in selfish desires, “Crucify Him!”
So, what if you were you? What if YOU could travel back in time to be there when Christ endured the greatest torture known to man? Now, what do you feel?
Usually at Easter, I approach the Cross with gratitude which is of course an appropriate response, however hearing my condemnation of my Savior made me realize from where I had come. Jesus wasn’t just atoning for the “sins of the world” they were “my sins”. He was showing me my need for repentance. While I had become a follower of Christ when I was younger, I needed the reminder that I was the one who had turned on Jesus. No finger pointing allowed. I was the problem.
Ironically, my accidental run in with method acting jolted me back to my true self. I am the created, I am the child. I had betrayed the Father. Isaiah 53:6 says, “All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—everyone—to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.” “Everyone” some translations say, “each of us”, individually, have betrayed God’s love. Jesus willingly allowed our evil to be placed on him at the cross.
Remembering to humble yourself before the Savior is a helpful exercise for a Christian, and it could be a soul-saving one for those who don’t follow Jesus. It isn’t very popular to point out humanity’s sinful nature anymore, in fact, in some places, it’s criminal. I’m doing it anyway because it is a vital first step in understanding why the gospel is such “good news”.
Without the realization that we have a sin problem we don’t understand the impact that the cross of Jesus has on our souls. Our sin deserves the cross, we deserve the cross. The good news is that Jesus paid what we could not. Jesus has the power over sin AND death. You can repent, or turn away, from your sin, give your life to Jesus. Make him the King of your life and follow him. You don’t have to be in a play to experience Christ. The reality of Christ Jesus is available for you. He didn’t just die for your evil; he rose again for your purity. Unstained. Washed by his blood. Holy.
The Good Portion Journaling Questions:
Jesus told his disciples in Matthew 16:24 “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” According to this verse what are we to do to follow Jesus?
What does it mean to “Deny ourselves”?
Read 1 John 1:5-10
What do you learn about God from this passage?
What does it mean to “Walk in darkness?” What does it mean to “Walk in light”?
Meditate on Verse 9: What does it mean? Do you confess your sins? Are you forgiven? How does it feel to be forgiven?
Read Revelation 7:9-17
What do you learn about God from this passage? List attributes you see in his interaction towards the great multitude.
Who says Verse 10 “Salvation ________ to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!”
In verse 14 what does it tell us about what the multitude is wearing? What does this symbolize?
Meditate on verses 15-17 observing what it will be like to be in the presence of Jesus the Lamb! Worship God for who he is.
Reread or listen to one or all of the gospel accounts of Passion Week/ The crucifixion and resurrection:
