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With my phone pocketed I stepped into what’s left of a forest at the back of my neighborhood. Sometimes I go there when I feel claustrophobic. Trees help me breathe, literally and figuratively I guess. I used to live in a forest, and miss it dearly. So this dwindling forest lot with impending construction will have to suffice. I popped my earbuds out of my ears and instantly noticed the choir of birds. So loud and with so much variety. I stood still separating all the sounds one by one. It felt like eavesdropping. Who else was hearing this but the Creator and me?   It was late spring and the forest was lush, full of vibrant green. I stooped down to see perfectly shaped orbs of dew on each blade of grass. The morning sun refracted tiny rainbows from each drop into my eyes, so small and fragile they would disappear in a blur when I blinked. I crouched to examine the dew and try to capture it in my camera when I noticed the most delicate little wing. Small and clear, I picked it up between my pointer and thumb and laid it gently on my palm. Black veins branched through the wing highlighting the slightest iridescence. Dragon fly?  No. Then I remembered it was a Cicada year. How long had it waited to emerge and what struggle ensued for me to have found this lone wing? Only God knows.   As I stood in my micro forest with my back to the houses, I tried my best to take it all in. Inspecting every plant, examining the wet spider webs at the base of every sprouted shrub. Hearing every swoosh of a bird lighting on one tree then the next. Smelling the fresh scent of spring in an air thick with oxygen. I wanted to see the things God sees, and notice the things he knows. Jesus says the Father knows when a bird falls, and he dresses the lilies of the field. How much more important are we, he asks? Immeasurably!   Genesis 16 highlights how the Creator values the unknown. God had promised Abram and Sarai would be a great nation, He had promised a son. But in her impatience, Sarai, foolishly tried to force the fulfillment by giving her maidservant to Abram as a wife.  Hagar became pregnant and understandably had a hard time with Sarai. Abram refused to get in the middle, so he dismissed Hagar to the cruelty of jealous Sarai. The end of 16:6 says “Then Sarai dealt harshly with her, and she fled from her.”  Sin causes horrific consequences for everyone.   Pregnant and alone, Hagar is desperate, sitting by a spring of water in the wilderness, when she is “found” the scripture says, by the angel of the Lord. Many times, in the Old Testament, the “Angel of the Lord” is considered a theophany, or an appearance of pre-incarnate Jesus. He talks with her about her situation and encourages her to return home because she will have a son and that her offspring will multiply so that they “Cannot be numbered”.   It is Hagar’s response that is so important here though, a glimpse through the keyhole of how our Creator handles his creation. Read Genesis 16:13 “” So she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, “You are a God of seeing,” (or you are the God who sees me) for she said, “Truly here I have seen him who looks after me.” Therefore the well was called Beer-lahai-roi; it lies between Kadesh and Bered. “ Genesis 16:13-14 ESV   The name Hagar used for God here is El Roi and can be translated “god of sight” or “god saw me” ( https://en.m.wikipedia.org ) Do you ever wonder if God sees you? Your situations, your frustration, or even someone else’s sin. It would have been so easy for Hagar to respond with did you see what she did to me? The betrayal, the jealousy, the lies and meanness? Did you see that God? But she didn’t point out any of the drama she had experienced because she knew the answer would be yes. That was why he was there, so she would know she was seen, in her brokenness, in her distress. He saw her and he sees you too.   He sees the triumphs too, you know. The small parenting win, the time you chose patience. He sees you choose your Bible over mindless doom scrolling. He sees both your broken heart and silent praise. I like to find myself forests searching for details that only God knows about, maybe so that I can let my heart remember that I am one of those details too. He is the God who sees me.   The Good Portion Journaling Questions:   Let’s search the scriptures for more evidence that our Creator is the God who sees:   In Genesis 21 he takes care of Hagar again.  Read this chapter and write down what God Saw and how he took care of her.   Read these Scripture passages that show us “EL ROI” the God who sees, write in your journal what you learn about God from these passages.   1 Kings 17:7-16 (Bonus 17: 17-24) Who did God see, what needs did he meet?   Psalm 139 List all of the things that God knows in this chapter. Take some time to praise him for his intimate knowledge of you.   Psalm 8. (Focus on verse 4) Pause to put yourself in your place, God is wholly other, you are the created. Worship El Roi for his unadulterated LOVE for his creation. Journal about what it feels like to be loved by the God who sees.   John 1:43-51 This is the calling of Nathaniel.  What Godly character trait did Jesus praise Nathaniel for the first time they met? If this was their first meeting, what do we learn about Jesus and his knowledge of our hearts? What was Nathaniel’s response? What is your response?   It is easy to go on a walk or see creation and want to worship God for his creation, as we should! However next time you are out, I challenge you to try to notice the things that only God knows about. Maybe you and El Ron are the only ones who see the flower growing in a construction zone on the roadside. What about real life though? Everyday application?   Have you noticed the specific strands of color God placed in the iris of your daughter? Maybe the way your husband works so hard for your family. Have you noticed the stress lines on your supervisor’s face. El Roi knows everyone’s story. We mere mortals must ask, be observant and genuinely care for one another.  You could be the one to let others know there is a God who sees. Are you taking time to notice what God sees in your life? Who has God called you to notice? How can you reach out to them and show them God sees them?

Levi lay awake, feeling the dew soak in through his tunic. He had been watching the temple service sheep since he was a young boy. This was just another night filled with bleats and snorts. He felt a soft nudge on his calf. As he reached down to stroke the dirty wool, he scanned the horizon for predators. It was so dark he could barely make out the terrain. He knew most of his flock favored the gentle sloping hill to the right and decided to do a walking check.  One by one, he started calling names. Each one came trotting in his direction. They knew his voice and responded with blind trust. Bleating out through the blackness, searching for Levi. They wanted the presence of their shepherd.  Levi knew the destiny of each of his sheep would be as a sacrifice in the Temple in Jerusalem. He thought of how he wanted them to be treated with the special respect they deserved. Each one living a life for the service of YHWH.  Levi called to his friend, Benjamin, for a count of his flock. He heard Benjamin’s voice in the distance from the plain on his left.  By the sound of his voice, Benjamin was walking towards him.  Before he could call back, movement straight above him caught his attention. Searching the sky, he noticed the brightness of the stars, then a pain pierced his eyes, and he felt like he was looking at the sun. Instinctively, Levi crouched down, pulling the nearest sheep to his side. He shielded his face and worked up the courage to open his eyes toward the sky again.  The most indescribable sight Levi had ever seen shot fear straight to his stomach. An angel hovered right above him. Wings and eyes, light bursting from an angel, confused Levi, not knowing where or even how to look at it. Levi glanced over. Benjamin and the others were on the ground as well, blocking their eyes with their forearms.   “And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger."" Luke‬ ‭2‬:‭10‬-‭12‬ ‭ESV‬‬ A savior! We have waited so long! The Maccabees had tried to save them from Rome, but Rome was so big. Did he say, “For all the people?” He did! A savior for all people, even the Romans? I wonder what he saves them from. In swaddling cloths. Levi knew what that meant. It was the chosen messiah; each perfect lamb found for the temple sacrifice would be swaddled. Would the messiah be a sacrifice? The angel said it was a sign. Lost in his thoughts, Levi hadn’t noticed how long he had been staring up at the Angel, mesmerized. Then suddenly, there were more, so many more. Levi tried to take it all in. God’s glory shining around each one. Levi’s breath caught in his throat. He blinked quickly. It was so thunderous Levi jumped back.  A host of voices spoke as one, like the sound of roaring rivers. ““Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!”” ‭‭Luke‬ ‭2‬:‭14‬ ‭ESV‬‬ As quickly as the messenger had come, he had left. And the host with him. Levi was left mouth agape. He glanced down at his knees, bouncing involuntarily. He stood up slowly, feeling his heart still racing. “Benjamin! Did you see that?!” He could hear the trembling in his voice. Benjamin came running over with two of the younger shepherds on his tail.  “Do you know what this means, Levi?”  “We have to go see him!”  “Come on!”  Benjamin rounded the corner first, stopping short Levi almost ran into him. Levi stretched to see over Benjamin’s shoulder. He saw a young girl gazing into a manger. She crouched down next to her husband, who was playing with the infant's fingers. Uncurling the tiny hands with his pointer finger, then brushing his palm with the back of his fingers. The mother looked up at the sudden group of guests. Levi could tell she had been crying. She looked sweaty and exhausted. She managed a knowing smile and her husband invited them in.  There he was, swaddled tightly, just like a Passover lamb. Tiny and helpless, yet having just witnessed the sky full of angels, Levi could feel he wasn’t. All of heaven was watching. And soon, the world would be, too.  The light of the world had come. For years, it had been so dark, so overwhelmingly desperate. Levi looked into the tiny face, and all at once, he could see. Everything was light, Hope filled his heart. Benjamin was already down on his knees when Levi shifted to kneel. It was exactly as the angel said. Levi wasn't sure how long he had been kneeling to worship. He was lost in thought and possibilities. Levi searched Benjamin's face to see if he knew the gravity of the moment. He did. A wide smile slowly grew on Benjamin’s face, “I’m going to tell everyone !” He whispered. "Everyone!" Levi repeated. Both shepherds gave a nod of gratitude toward the baby’s parents and jumped up from the ground. Dodging the other shepherds who were just walking in to see, Benjamin and Levi bolted out of the stable, yelling to the others, “We’re telling everyone!” *** READ the following Scriptures. In a journal write down all the times when Jesus is called the Light. “The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness, on them has light shone.” ‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭9‬:‭2‬ ‭ESV‬‬ https://bible.com/bible/59/isa.9.2.ESV “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not anything made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. There was a man sent from God, whose name was John. He came as a witness, to bear witness about the light, that all might believe through him. He was not the light, but came to bear witness about the light. The true light, which gives light to everyone, was coming into the world. He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him. He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God. And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. (John bore witness about him, and cried out, “This was he of whom I said, ‘He who comes after me ranks before me, because he was before me.’”) For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. No one has ever seen God; the only God, who is at the Father’s side, he has made him known.” ‭‭John‬ ‭1‬:‭1‬-‭18‬ ‭ESV‬‬ https://bible.com/bible/59/jhn.1.18.ESV   Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8: 12 “Now when he heard that John had been arrested, he withdrew into Galilee. And leaving Nazareth he went and lived in Capernaum by the sea, in the territory of Zebulun and Naphtali, so that what was spoken by the prophet Isaiah might be fulfilled: “The land of Zebulun and the land of Naphtali, the way of the sea, beyond the Jordan, Galilee of the Gentiles— the people dwelling in darkness have seen a great light, and for those dwelling in the region and shadow of death, on them a light has dawned.” From that time Jesus began to preach, saying, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.”” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭4‬:‭12‬-‭17‬ ‭ESV‬‬ https://bible.com/bible/59/mat.4.12-17.ESV And night will be no more. They will need no light of lamp or sun, for the Lord God will be their light, and they will reign forever and ever. Revelation 22:5 Questions: Can you find other scriptures with the theme of Jesus being the Light of the world? Put yourself in the position of a shepherd that night. How do you think the shepherds experienced the Light of the world? How do you experience the Light of the World? As you observe Advent and anticipate the coming of Christ, how has the Light of the World spoken to you this month?

If you lived through the 1980s and 1990s, we all share some distinct memories from the past. It is 1992, at Thunderbird Roller Skating Rink. The walls are covered in colorful yet noticeably dirty carpet; the rental counter has a backdrop of cubicles filled with light brown skates with orange wheels and your size number on every heel. There is a distinct smell of active kids, disinfectant spray, popcorn, pizza, and a layer of cigarette smoke from decades past. The disco lights are swirling, and your favorite dance tunes are blaring from the DJ booth. In the 90s, it was the place to have your birthday party! After nearly breaking your tailbone a few times, a slice of pizza, and a massive piece of cake, the Birthday girl had a special treat. The birthday money machine! You know the one, the birthday girl dressed in her brightest neon and fluffiest side pony, excitedly gets to step inside a plexiglass box the size of a shower. Her sweaty tween friends gather around with envious, blue-shaded eyes. The money is blown around by fans from all sides; fluttering up, and down, sticking to her leg, fluttering by her eyes, smacking her in the face, and there are always a few stuck in the corner. For one whole minute, the birthday girl frantically grabs the money flying around her. What she can hold, she can keep. Thoughts are like the money machine sometimes, swirling around you, coming and going just as fast. I think I have a heap of dollar bills when a stiff wind blows it away again right out of my grip. The TVs everywhere, social media driven, virtue signaling companies, phones in every hand, the world we live in assaults our senses and makes critical thinking and faith-filled living seem like you’re grasping at flying dollar bills. “We destroy arguments, and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,” 2 Corinthians 10:5 Discernment doesn’t enter the chaos box. That’s where they get’cha! Just like the fan that produces the wind to blow the money around, there is an enemy unseen, causing a chaotic life. Check out the context in which we are living. Read the previous verse, 2 Corinthians 10:3-4. “For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds.” We walk in the flesh; our physical reality before us is this broken world, but the war Scripture says we are waging is spiritual. That sounds scary, fighting an unseen foe. That is why Satan wants our lives and thoughts so chaotic, to confuse and distract us from the weapons we already have. What does verse 4 say our weapons are capable of? Destroying strongholds with divine power. What kind of power? Divine! Ephesians 6 tells us to put on the whole armor of God. Read verse 12 to hear who we are fighting against. “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. The belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, shoes fitted with the gospel of peace, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the spirit are the believer’s continued protection while warring with the enemy. I never experienced the excitement of the cash machine in my youth.  However, being Gen X or Xennial myself, I witnessed enough friends’ and strangers’ birthdays in the tornado of cash to have figured out a thing or two. As I grew older and more observant, I noticed something peculiar. In order to secure the most cash, the Birthday Girl only needed to remain still and use the tools they already had. Their arms! If a kid stood still while the money swirled frantically around them, and they placed their arms in a cradle position across their stomach, the fan would create a little money vortex, placing bill after bill into their arms. If the Birthday girl could control herself long enough, the fan would turn off, and she would have arms full of cash. How often do we frantically grab and swipe at thoughts and situations? God has given us the tools we need to fight the battles of this broken world. We will take thoughts captive. Philippians 4:4-7 tells us to, “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.   Let your reasonableness[ d ] be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.   And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” As the "principalities of this present darkness" create chaos, we take our thoughts captive, examining them with the truth of God’s Word. We rejoice because we aren’t alone in the swirling tornado of thoughts. The Lord is with us. He is with you. The world won’t understand when you stand still; it won’t get it when you stop swiping frantically. The follower of Christ can wage war and take thoughts captive, all while experiencing peace the world does not understand. Your heart and mind are guarded; you only need to be still. Use the tools God has given you to fight your battles while at perfect peace, then rejoice, strap on your rental skates, and take another lap. The Good Portion Journaling Questions: What thoughts do you need to take captive? What are some ways that you have tried to handle the chaos of the enemy in the past? What happened? What did you learn from that experience? How does scripture tell us to handle anxiety and chaos? Who does it say we are fighting against? What are some ways you can take your thoughts captive, rejoice, and live in peace this week?

The morning sun grew into its full summer heat, as booths and tents came alive with merchants selling their goods. Fresh spices were mounded in handmade trays boasting a wide array of ambers and golds.  Deep scarlet, indigo, and purple fabrics waved in the salty breeze. Amos had been up and down the coast searching for just the right pearls. Scouring marketplaces for the best to sell to the wealthy. Amos wandered from stall to stall, thumbing merchandise to determine its value. His eyes wandered, skimming the tops of the tables. A shine from a booth two rows back caught his attention. His stomach turned at the possibilities of what he had just found. Brushing past other shoppers and pushing through the crowd, Amos quickened his steps to lay imaginary claim to his newfound treasure.   This pearl was exactly what he had been searching for. The largest, roundest, most lustrous pearl Amos had ever seen sat snuggly in a puddle of sand for display. A beautifully round pearl came into focus as he stepped up to the stall. “How much?” Amos blurted out, unable to contain his excitement. “Oh, for this one? Much more than you have, I’m sure.”  The Audacity. Amos reached for his satchel as the seller whispered the price. Amos knew he didn’t have that much in cash but checked his money bag to save face. Amos attempted to barter, but the seller refused to budge. Amos shuffled through all the purchases he had made over the past weeks in his head, this pearl was worth more than all that combined. Amos asked the merchant for time to gather the money. He knew this pearl would be snatched up if he didn’t come up with the funds soon. Amos calculated how much he could get if he sold all of his belongings. Amos felt a tinge of urgency in his stomach. He turned to go and looked back at the pearl one more time. I’ll be back, he thought; I have to be back! Amos pushed his way through the crowd again and broke out into a brisk jog to reach his room in the inn. Gathering all of his belongings, he shoved them back into his satchel and rushed back out the door. Throwing the straps over his shoulders backward, Amos reopened the flap as he walked. Reaching in his hand in, he brought out his tunic. He stopped at the first booth he saw and sold it for as much as he could. Booth after booth he emptied his bag. With each sale his excitement for the pearl grew. Making his way back to the pearl, Amos was practically running towards it. A bit out of breath, he dumped all his money out of his bag in front of the merchant. The seller’s eyes widened at the uncontained excitement. “I’ll take the pearl!” Amos insisted. Seeing the opportunity, the merchant examined the money, “The satchel as well!”  “Deal!” Amos almost yelled. The Merchant opened a delicate cloth bag, placed the most valuable pearl in the bag, and drew the string to tie it in a knot. The merchant placed the small bag in Amos’ hands. He didn’t even miss all of his belongings. Amos knew the worth of his new treasure. A wide smile spread across his face as Amos turned on his heels, pearl in hand.   The Good Portion Journaling Questions READ Matthew 13:44-46 “The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls, who, on finding one pearl of great value, went and sold all that he had and bought it.” Luke 12:32-34 “Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to the needy. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”   What is the “Treasure in the field” and “the pearl of great price” in Jesus’ parable? What are some things you needed to give up or lay aside when you acquired the treasure of Christ’s salvation. What does Luke 12:32 say about how God feels about giving you the kingdom? What can we learn about God's character from this observation? Name some things that are earthly treasures. Explain what these verses mean by “treasures in heaven”. Where is your treasure? Is Jesus worth this much to you? Thank the Lord for giving you a treasure that will never be destroyed. Spend some time in prayer. Ask God to show you what you should give up, ask him to reveal where your treasure and heart are right now and where they should be. Spend some time meditating on the verses above, memorize Luke 12:34.

The new year is 49 minutes old. My Christmas tree is dry and drooping but still beautiful. None of the new presents have permanent homes tucked away in closets and drawers. Cookie tins are emptied of their confections, most washed and piled in the drying rack. Things don’t feel new; in fact, they feel halfway finished. They feel like piled-up chores. Laundry continues; meals must be made and dishes washed; life goes on. I want it to feel like a fresh start, like a new beginning, but it feels like I’m going to sleep in tomorrow. Anyone else, or is it just me?  I understand the concept of celebrating a brand-new year but have always thought it was a strange way to celebrate. It is the time of year when everything is dead and cold; new life comes in the spring. The time of night when it’s dark, and our bodies are sleepy. A new day begins at dawn. Declaring resolutions of health while eating and drinking to excess. Good intentions fizzle quickly. Is change possible? It is tempting to attempt to muster up the strength to bring about the change we want to see, but the Bible tells us that the Holy Spirit brings about change. The first and most important catalyst to change is Salvation in Christ. Read 2 Corinthians 5:14-20, “For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised. From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer.  Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.” 2 Corinthians 5:14-20 ESV He creates us anew! Mending the rift between Himself and us, we become a new person.  If you haven’t been made new yet, I echo Paul’s words and implore you to be reconciled to God!  Read verse 15 again; “and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.” 2 Corinthians 5:15 ESV If you haven’t acknowledged Jesus as the king of your life yet, you can do that now. A fresh start for a fresh year. He died for all. We have all betrayed him, messed up, sinned. We all deserve the death he took in our place. You can be made new for the new year.     What about those of us that feel like a work unfinished? We have been made new and feel the wear and tear of life on this broken earth.  I would encourage you to read all of Phil 3, but let’s focus on Paul’s declaration and encouragement in verses 12-16; “Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. Only let us hold true to what we have attained.” Philippians 3:12-16 ESV We press forward, continuing in the work we were given in Christ Jesus. Because of what he has done for us, we continue in the process of sanctification, becoming more like Christ each day.  If you are geared up and ready for a new year with a new resolution or if you are still feeling like hibernating and waiting for spring to grow new life, spiritually, we all must look to the Holy Spirit for change and development. We cannot muster up enough goodness inside us to change ourselves, Scripture is clear the work has already been done through Christ. It’s offered for you and me. Move forward in him through the joys and challenges that this new year will bring.  The year is just beginning, but maybe you’re in the thick of it. Maybe it’s the mundane of life, or maybe it’s a crisis that has fried your nervous system. He knows he is with you; he will carry you through! Press on!  The Good Portion Journaling questions: Re-read 2 Corinthians 5:14-20. What is the ministry of reconciliation?  What does it mean to be an ambassador for Christ?  How will you be His ambassador this year?  Re-read Philippians 3:12-16 What does the phrase, “I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” mean? How do people misinterpret this? WHO is “the prize”?  How will you press on toward Christ this year?  Dig deeper: Read Isaiah 43 Who is he talking to, and who is he talking about?  What verses bring you comfort in this passage?  Focus on verses 18-19: “Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” Isaiah 43:18-19 ESV What was the new thing he was doing?  Who made a way for us in the wilderness?  Are you in the wilderness now? How is Christ your "way"? What other verses in Isaiah 43 express God’s presence with us in the tough seasons of life? Do a search to find more throughout the scripture. List them out and find who they are talking to and about. Does it apply to you? Find one to write on your mirror.  However long into the New Year you are, know that He is working in you. Continue to walk with Him in the winter and the spring.

“Did you hear?” Tymna whispered to Eliza, “The Red Army has taken Krakow back! Maybe Auschwitz will be next!” Tymna’s whisper barely made it to Eliza’s ears, but she heard the hope filling the air. Eliza would cling to any hope she found. It was scarce and intoxicating. She wondered if it was possible that someone was coming for them also. She struggled as she took in a deep breath, feeling her ribs beneath her thin shirt. The hunger pains were a constant, she watched herself waste away with everyone else. They became her family, willing each other to keep going. Was it too much to pray for salvation? The Lord told her they were coming; she just needed to hold on. A frail smile squinted her eyes into half-moons. “Yes!” Eliza whispered back, “They are coming.” ***** The funny thing about hope is that it doesn’t have to be big. In the same way, Tymna felt the smallest seed of hope sprout in her heart at the hope of salvation humanity longed for Christ’s first coming. Even now, we “wait with eager longing” (Rom 8:19) for Jesus’ second coming. Salvation in Christ has already come, but now we excitedly await Christ’s second coming. The type of hope has changed, but hope is still present. Anticipation and longing for the arrival of someone is a universal feeling. Pre-September 11 airport gate reunions used to warm our hearts, watching returning soldiers or grandchildren waiting for their grandparents. An expectant mother and father’s long wait to meet their child is exciting. They are nervous and elated through the nearly ten months of anticipation.   When someone is coming, you prepare. The guest room is cleaned and made ready, or the baby’s nursery is stocked with diapers and blankets. The same must be true for us. The joyous expectation of the arrival of Jesus’ second return is the type of anticipation believers experience now. We live in the “already but not yet” time frame. Salvation has come to those who have made Jesus the King of their lives. This is the anticipation of the second Advent of Christ.  In Revelation 22:20 Jesus says, “Surely I am coming soon.” And John replies with the cry of all of our hearts, “Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.” (For more about being prepared Read Matthew 25) In Romans 8, Paul describes this present-day hope. Read Romans 8:18-30 In Verse 18, Paul gives us hope right away. What do believers have to look forward to? (Vs 18-19) What does verse 21 say creation will be set free from? Name some examples of corruption our world is in bondage to. It could be our culture as a whole or personal to you.   What does verse 21 say creation is set free to obtain?   Verses 22-23 describe creation as groaning and adds that we have our personal groanings as well. How have you seen creation groan? What are some areas where you “groan inwardly as we wait”   What do verses 24-25 say about hope? How do we wait for what we do not see? With _____________ Who helps you in your weakness? (vs 26) According to this passage, how does the Holy Spirit help? Give an example of how you have seen Him do this in your life.   What are believers being conformed into? Read verse 30 in your copy of the Scripture, underline all the verbs, and then circle all the pronouns. Who is doing the predestining, the calling, the justifying, and the glorifying?   How have you seen God do this in your life?   Pray: Thank God for the hope that he gives creation and humanity. Thank Him for giving us the Holy Spirit, for freeing us from bondage, for calling you, and for justifying you. Spend some time giving him praise for the hope he provides. Worship him for the first Advent and worship him in the expectant longing for the second Advent.

The Christmas season is here and as the countdowns begin, this season is the perfect time to practice choosing the Good Portion, Christ! I decorated early this year in an attempt to stave off the frenzy the first week of December. There is one decoration that remains to be hung. My big Silver Dollar City wreath. “I just couldn’t help myself!” My friend said as she opened the back of her green Tahoe. She had just been telling me about the huge sale Silver Dollar City has to change out their seasonal decorations. The Missouri Themepark is known for its amazing Christmas lights and decorations. As she turned around, I could see her wide smile, eager to show me the treasure she had found for me; she pulled out the largest wreath I had ever seen. "I thought you and the kids would like this!" I jumped back a little to see it all, “I love it! It is huge!” I squealed. “Thank you. Where will I put it?!” My Silver Dollar City wreath has moved with me all over the country, and this year I think she’ll get some new lights and a big bow. Hanging my SDC wreath will be the perfect start to the Advent season. Where did the wreath come from anyway? A German Lutheran pastor named Johann Hinrich Wichern is often credited with turning the wreath into a symbol of Advent. The ever-practical Germans used trimmings from their trees to decorate and reduce waste. Of course, the Evergreen, or Pine, is a tree that symbolizes eternal life as it is green all year long. The shape of the wreath, the circle, has no beginning and no end, which again denotes the eternal life we can have in Jesus. It represents divine perfection.  Those may be obvious but get ready! Our deep dive into wreaths is about to turn into worship. Wreaths originate from Rome. Wreath crowns made of olives, laurel, wild celery, and pine were worn on the heads of victorious athletes. Aside from competitions, head wreaths symbolized honor and joy. The wreath was said to be, “the ornament of a priest in the performance of sacrifice, of hero on his return from victory, of the bride at her nuptials, and of the guests of the feast.” [1]   Did you know the old English word for wreath is “Writhen” meaning “to writhe” or to “twist”? [2] This brings to mind the most important wreath on the most precious head. If you will allow me to switch holidays on you let me read Matthew 28:29. “and twisting together a crown of thorns, they put it on his head and put a reed in his right hand. And kneeling before him, they mocked him saying, “Hail the king of the Jews!”  Do you see it? They meant to mock him, but the crown of thorns was the wreath of victory, it was the ornament of the High Priest in the performance of a sacrifice, the crown of the hero, and the decoration for the bridegroom. Jesus prayed for you before he died on that cross. In John 17, Jesus speaks in the third person, which sounds funny but he does it so that he is crystal clear.  Starting in verse 1 , “When Jesus had spoken these words, he lifted up his eyes to heaven and said, “Father, the hour has come, glorify your son that the Son may glorify you, since you have given him authority over all flesh, to give eternal life to all whom you have given him.” Here it is, don’t miss it, verse 3 , “And this is eternal life, that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent .”   In God’s amazing completeness, he gives everything fullness of meaning. The wreath under your advent candles, and the wreath on your door, they are reminders for us. He stepped out of heaven at Christmas, so we receive Jesus’ victory over the cross and over sin and death. He is the High Priest (Heb 3:1), he is the hero who will return in victory over death (1 Cor. 15:56) and will return again, he is the bridegroom (Rev. 19:7-8), and scripture says we will be the guests of his great feast (Rev 19:9).   [1] http://time.com/5482144/christmas-wreath-origins/ [2] Wilsonevergreens.com

“We are here!” I called as I stepped through the garage door, following my son, who had opted for the back door instead of the front. My parents rose from the couch and chair where they had been waiting and passed out hugs to my family of five. The smell of the almost 45-year-old house was familiar and comforting. And the Ghost of Thanksgiving Past flashed memories through my head. 14 years ago, I labored in my parent's guest bathroom, staring at the birds in the wallpaper, waiting for the stabbing lower back pain to subside. This wasn’t anything like the doctor said it would be. I had begun contractions in the car and felt the pressure of the dreadful wait for a few hours now. We had come into town for Thanksgiving from our home, about an hour away. My sister and her family were coming, and while I normally would have been ecstatic to see everyone, all I could feel was fear. The physical pain took me by surprise, and in a blink, I held my second-born in my hand, so little and perfect and lifeless. I felt a new pain I hadn’t felt before. My body was unable to carry him to term, and the Lord chose Thanksgiving to bring him home. I stood there in shock, looking at his perfect little features. My breath left me, and I sobbed as silently as those wallpaper birds. I don’t use that bathroom much, but when I do, and I’m standing there alone in that small room where only me and God and the wallpaper birds witnessed the birth of my child, I so desperately wish I could have watched him grow up. Death and thanksgiving is an irony not lost on me. The first Thanksgiving was a feast thanking God for provision and survival after watching around half of those who traveled on the Mayflower die through the harsh winter. I sometimes wonder if those Pilgrims felt the same as I did. They watched their mother, sister, brother or father die, but wanted to thank God for the life and help he provided. Gratitude is a funny thing. They say you can’t worry and feel gratitude simultaneously, but you sure can feel other things. You can be gutted with sorrow and still thankful; you can be confused, desperate and still grateful. I was certainly tender in my loss 14 thanksgivings ago and yet so thankful for my firstborn, my husband, and my family. I was hopeful for my daughters to come. Gratitude didn’t take away from the pilgrim's losses; it acknowledged humanity’s fragility, God’s sovereignty, and his provision. By God’s providence, the Pilgrims met natives who spoke English! Those precious natives shared their knowledge and saved lives. For the assistance, for the expertise, for the friendship and hospitality, the pilgrims were thankful. Thankful to the natives, thankful to God. In their loss, they understood Job’s cry, “And he said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”” Job‬ ‭1‬:‭21‬ ‭ESV.‬‬ It’s one thing to understand your place in creation, which is a struggle most humans have, but to be able to say "blessed be the name of the Lord means the one receiving the pain knows the Lord. Maybe it wasn’t a child that died; maybe it was a parent or friend. Maybe it is a job or circumstance that presses in on you every day. The world says despair, the enemy says give up, be bitter and angry. But in Christ, we have hope, comfort, encouragement, protection and even gratitude. “O Lord, how many are my foes! Many are rising against me; many are saying of my soul, “There is no salvation for him in God.” Selah But you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head. I cried aloud to the Lord, and he answered me from his holy hill. Selah” ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭3‬:‭1‬-‭4‬ ‭ESV.‬‬ The Scriptures are full of examples of people who experienced the fallen world in all of its broken sadness. Look at Joseph’s response to his brothers who sold him into slavery in Egypt. “But Joseph said to them, “Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.” Genesis‬ ‭50‬:‭19‬-‭20‬ ‭ESV‬‬. Even Jesus, while on the cross, in excruciating pain, called out the first lines of Psalm 22. Through his sheer discomfort, he reminded all the Israelites that had that Psalm memorized, “Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel. In you our fathers trusted; they trusted, and you delivered them. To you they cried and were rescued; in you they trusted and were not put to shame.” Psalm‬ ‭22‬:‭3‬-‭5‬ ‭ESV.‬‬ They also knew it says, “The afflicted shall eat and be satisfied; those who seek him shall praise the Lord! May your hearts live forever! All the ends of the earth shall remember and turn to the Lord, and all the families of the nations shall worship before you.” ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭22‬:‭26‬-‭27‬ ‭ESV‬‬. However, the most incredible part of the Psalm Jesus chose to bring to mind at the very moment he was dying for the sins of humanity is that it ends by calling out to you. “Posterity shall serve him; it shall be told of the Lord to the coming generation; they shall come and proclaim his righteousness to a people yet unborn, that he has done it.” Psalm‬ ‭22‬:‭30‬-‭31‬ ‭ESV‬‬. Yes, life is real; we live in pain and loss with no regard for persons or holiday. But Jesus has done it! His salvation is offered to us; we are the future generations Psalm 22 speaks of. Do you feel that in your heart right now? It’s gratitude! No matter what this broken world has drug us through. There is hope in the pain, only by Christ and all he has done. Maybe you have experienced a loss that took you be surprise. The death of a dream or the culture of Satan has taken something from you. Maybe you’ve experienced something that only you, God, and the wallpaper birds know about. I’m here to tell you there is hope in trusting Christ and, on the other side, a strange, unnatural gratitude. It’s supernatural, in fact. As we unloaded the car and settled our stuff into my sisters’ and my old bedrooms, I watched my three children hug my parents and thanked God for the redemption of my pain. I thanked him for the hope he gave me when I had none. I thanked him for the little life in heaven I will meet someday and for his care of him while we are separated. I thanked him for his presence, his salvation, and the raw feeling of gratitude we can find in our suffering. Wallpaper Birds Journaling Questions: When was a time when it felt hard to be thankful? How did God use that time to draw you closer to him? Read Philippians 4:10-20. Within its proper contexts, what does Paul mean in Philippians 4:13? How is this verse often taken out of context? How can you apply this passage to you and your gratefulness in all circumstances? How will you be grateful this season, even in the hard? Do you have faith in Jesus? Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus? If not and would like one, tell him. Ask him to be your King; tell him you believe he died for your sins, so you don’t have to. (then message me so I can celebrate with you!)

Read Luke 10:38-42 Mary enjoyed the buzz of guests filling the home. She had opened the door to Jesus and his followers for a meal and fellowship. Mary pushed down the butterflies as their friends filled the room. It had been a while since they had seen Jesus, and his ministry was growing. It was much more than the original twelve now. He even had women who would follow him. She envied them most days, getting to hear Jesus first, ask him questions, and watch him heal the sick. By now they had become like family. Side conversations hushed as Jesus began to speak. She made herself comfortable on a floor cushion and let his words seep into the messy places. The insecurity of her present situation waned when he spoke, so she leaned in. Though she, her sister, Martha, and brother, Lazarus had known Jesus for a while now, Mary could see how knowing him had changed them. Every time Jesus came near, she felt like she was peeking into the Holy place. Remembering her own humanity made wonder and fear tumble inside her. Like peeling back the vail in the temple, to just catch a glimpse of the splendor within. Jesus treated her with dignity, he was different from other men, especially the religious teachers, they never paid her any mind. She had so many questions, and curiosities. She was more cerebral than people would assume, and she just wanted to learn. To soak up every word. Rabbis would speak past her, through her, even. But not Jesus, he saw her, when he spoke, she felt understood, wholly. Mary redirected her attention to Martha, with her back turned to the crowd, pouring cups of refreshments. Why won’t she just stop for a second? She is missing out on being face-to-face with the Messiah! Martha shuffled around her house preparing and fussing. There was so much to do. So many mouths to feed and the house, was it large enough to fit all of Jesus’ followers? Was it clean enough? She wanted so badly to impress him. It needed to be perfect, she knew it couldn’t be as perfect as him but she would aim for as close as she could. How else could she thank him for all he had done? He called her to be better, he made her new. She knew what she had been before, and she wanted to serve him, she just wasn’t sure she could do it all alone. Martha wiped off a platter for olives and goat cheese, then arranged them in a swirling pattern. The movement of Mary lowering herself to the floor cushion caught her eye. Is she sitting down? When there is so much to do? She must not care like I do. A twinge of bitterness crumpled Martha’s stomach. Mary is always shirking her responsibility, Martha bristled. Martha knew if it was going to be done right, she had to do it herself. Still, why doesn’t Mary even notice all that is left to do? With a lingering side eye, Martha set the platter on the table. Then rushed back to serve the cups. As Martha scurried back in, Jesus’ kind smile whispered for her to slow down. She smiled back but knew slowing down would only put her behind. So many mouths to feed. The bitterness in her stomach began to rise. She could feel a knot forming in her throat. I don’t understand, doesn’t Jesus teach us to serve others? Why won’t he correct Mary? She is being so lazy! Mary nestled in on her favorite pillow. She and her Ema had made it together when she was young. She ran her fingers around the deep scarlet and purple stitching, remembering how Ema had shown her how to stitch little flowers with the thread. “Hold the fabric like this, now angle the needle and thread like this.” “Swoop, knot, and pull!” Mary smiled remembering how she twisted up her fingers in the thread the first fifteen times she had tried. She was a pro now, though, she could stitch thread flowers with her eyes closed. She wondered if that was how Jesus’ disciples felt. Fumbling with all the twists and turns of following Jesus. He was vastly different from any other Rabbis, and the disciples were from so many different backgrounds. She wondered if they felt in knots like she did learning from her Ema. They were sent out and performed miracles then came back and tried again and couldn’t do it. She pondered what it was like to experience Jesus every day. Mary scooched her pillow to the left to make room for Mary Magdalene. She had followed Jesus for a while now. He had released her from the bondage of demons and had never left his side. Mary couldn’t blame her, the safety she must feel when she is with him! Jesus seated himself on another one of Ema’s pillows opposite Mary, and his followers filled in, each one finding a small piece of the home to claim for the next few hours. They were a close bunch. Not a lot of room for personal space when you travel with so many people. Jesus began to speak, explaining some of the parables he had told to the crowds earlier that afternoon. Mary focused in, she didn’t notice anything around her. John coughed, Matthius sneezed, Thomas was really enjoying the olives and cheese, and Martha zoomed in and out of the room carrying platters and plates. Mary didn’t hear a thing. It was only when Jesus’ face turned to look up at Martha did Mary notice how angry Martha was. Face red and heart pounding Martha couldn’t hold it in any longer. “Jesus! Do you not care that Mary had left me to serve alone?”  Martha’s breath caught when Jesus looked at her, she felt exposed and knew he understood all that she had been feeling for the last day of preparing for his stay. She didn’t need to explain, and she certainly knew she shouldn’t be telling him what to do, but she blurted it out anyway. “Tell her to help me!”  Jesus reached for the platter of fruit she was holding. He set it down softly next to the olives. “Martha, Martha”, Jesus’ eyes softened and the sting of shame for chastising him faded. “You are anxious and troubled about many things” Martha looked around at all she had accomplished in the last twenty-four hours. The house was swept, the pillows fluffed, the intoxicating aroma of fresh bread wafted out of the kitchen and through the house. Jesus waited for her attention to return to him. “but one thing is necessary.” Martha knew, he meant himself. She felt his appreciation for her service but knew he was right, he was necessary. She needed him, he was the one she couldn’t do without. Jesus continued softly, “Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” Martha’s eyes shifted from Jesus to her younger sister. Mary had put her head down not wanting to embarrass her sister. She slowly looked up to see Martha’s face pleading for forgiveness. She would never want to take Jesus away from her sister. Quietly, Mary Magdalene reached behind her, finding an extra pillow, she quietly handed it to Mary. The two women shifted to make room. Mary fingered the flowers on the new pillow and saw her sister was tangled up. The newness of following Jesus means we will get our fingers tangled in thread sometimes. Mary felt Martha’s desperate gaze as she remembered her Ema untangling her own fingers from the thread.  Mary gave the pillow a double pat as she smiled back at her sister. Martha nodded at Jesus and managed a smile, softly crossed the room she sat between the two Marys. The silent exchange between Jesus and Martha in that moment brought Martha back to life. She understood the choice. The service wasn’t bad, it was her attitude and missed opportunity for which she repented. It is amazing what you can learn from your little sister, Martha thought. Martha had been worried about the food she would serve, she stressed over portions, unable to tell if there would be enough. But Mary knew there was plenty for everyone. Jesus has enough to go around. She had chosen the Good Portion. © Jenny Crum The Good Portion Journal Questions: What are you “distracted” with or “anxious and troubled” about? Martha’s first reaction was to blame Jesus for not correcting Mary, have you ever found your self questioning the motives of others and then blaming God? If so, write out when and how it turned out. What did you learn from that situation? Jesus’ answer to Martha was gentle and yet firm. Do you have an example of when Jesus has been gentle but firm with you? If you are a parent, have you ever had a similar situation with your children? How did you handle it? Jesus did NOT tell her to stop serving or rebuke her for her actions. He called attention to her state of mind. She was anxious and troubled. She wasn’t serving with a cheerful heart. Read Phil. 2:14-16 and 1 Peter 4:8-11 What can we apply from these passages? Fill in the Blanks from 1 Peter 4:8–11 (ESV) 8  Above all, keep loving one another ___________, since _____  _______ a multitude of _____. 9  Show hospitality to one another without ___________. 10  As each has received a gift, use it to _______ one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: 11  whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves ___  ____  ___________ that God __________—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To ______ belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. What or WHO is The Good Portion? How can you choose the good portion regularly in your life? What have you learned about Jesus from this passage, How is he the Good Portion in your life?